Tanya Olson
Notes from Jonah’s Lecture Series Inside the whale, you do not understand
From inside the whale, you cannot guide
When inside the whale, it is best to be
When you find yourself inside a whale,
How hard it is to be the tiger. How pug marks
How tree forms shapes for tiger. How tiger takes shape
How thick pulls root. How tangled swims bladderwort.
Inside the whale, it is as if
you have always been inside a whale,
as if there is only inside the whale.
It is as if there was before the whale
and now. And in now,
you will always be inside a whale. . . .
why you are inside a whale. It is even difficult
to determine it is a whale. You may recall
the sea, and the ship, and going over the side,
but the whale you never saw. (Q: What is
the hardest angle for identifying whales?
A: From inside the whale.)
the whale. A whale will do as a whale will do.
You may throw your body to one side
or another to try to steer the whale;
you may attempt to use the power
of your mind to influence the whale.
Your mind is of a greater capacity
than the whale’s mind, but again,
a whale will do what a whale will do. . . .
inside the whale. Do what you are inside
the whale to do. Of course, you may use
only what was with you when thrown overboard.
No one packs to go inside the whale.
However, you should not try
to agitate the whale. It doesn’t help
if the whale ejects you too far from shore.
Unfortunately, you have forgotten about shore
and think there is only inside the whale.
meditate and rehearse journeys to
outside the whale. Know these
are skills that must be rehearsed
before needed. Practice the pitch
in his tenuous rumble, taste the acid
of his gentle lurp. Consider the feel
of baleen brushing against skin,
and the way his rough tongue reopens
your atrophied, unremembered eyes.
How Hard It Is Not to Buy a Tiger
How many men walk the docks. How many stop
to consider panthera tigris tigris. How many fail
to see tiger. How hard not to mimic tiger’s growl,
tiger’s swat. How hard it is to see tiger chained
and not think Me Mine It. How small is the cage
of possession. How hard it is not to buy a tiger.
circle. How intent tiger is on leaving. How weak
are the bonds of man. How far into swamp
does tiger go. How does man chase believing
this is who he is. The Man Who Owns Tiger.
Believing in man. Believing in tiger.
beneath tree. How tiger chuffs to tree. How swamp gas
beckons man. How man feels he is called. (Deeper in.
Deeper in.) How the chase turns his mind to himself.
How night deludes. How future retreats.
How man last knows this life. As man. As tiger.
How swallowed man can be. How the story of were-tiger
grows. How children play this out. How they contest
to see who will be tiger. By hands shaped into claw of tiger.
With a lunge and the growl of tiger. Between the stripes
of tiger. How hard it is not to be the tiger.
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About the Author
Tanya Olson teaches English at Vance-Granville Community College. Her work has appeared in Cairn, Bad Subjects, Main Street Rag, Pedestal Magazine, Elysian Fields, Fanzine, and Southern Cultures.
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